If Will Were Tyler Durden

The word processor I use to write up Disorientation--or any screenwriting, for that matter--is called Front Page, and one of the best part are all the little toys and gadgets that come with it. For example, did you know that there are 23,368 words in the play, accounting for 2929 paragraphs? I didn't, and now I want to vomit.

Anyway, another cool feature allows me to isolate one person and get all of their lines. This gives me a great idea for the entire flow and tone of a character. For this draft, that character specifically is Alison. I never realized how many straight-up angry bitch comments she makes (clearly), but it's enough to choke a feminist, that's for sure.

It also allows me to hear her rant with no one else there. Enjoy as Alison talks to Will in the hallway, and do it for the last time, as a good portion of these lines will not be in the final draft.

Scene: INT. DORM HALLWAY - LATE NIGHT/EARLY MORNING P.29-35

ALISON: What are you trying to do?

ALISON: Is that the sweet spot?

ALISON: Nothing to say, it seems.

ALISON: It’s not the Inquisition.

ALISON: At least no one converted you.

ALISON: (looks at Will)
Nah, I was thinking of something from earlier.

ALISON: No, I wasn’t laughing at you this time. Wasn’t exactly laughing with you, either.

ALISON: Well if anyone fell I’d laugh. It’s a knee-jerk reaction.

ALISON: (looking at Will)
Sorta. (looks at audience) That’s much more rewarding, though.

ALISON: I kind of wish you were my only problem. It wouldn’t be as bad as say (directs toward her door) SOMEONE WHO WON’T GET OFF THE PHONE AT 3 IN THE MORNING!

ALISON: (looking at Will)
Pfft, one. You’ve been born with a unique advantage over more than half the world. Congratulations.

ALISON: Don’t worry, I’m sure this is just a temporary stopover before you get a better job than a more qualified person who just so happens to have breasts.

ALISON: --Are what? Too smart for you? Threaten your manhood? Know better than you?

ALISON: Some?

ALISON: (looks at Will)
--No, they’re fine. Divorced, but fine, separately, I guess....

ALISON: The term “mankind” alone is offensive. What about Womankind? When we try to describe our own species we are second-class. But if you’re a man--

ALISON: What isn’t?

ALISON: (heavy sarcasm)
I pity you.

ALISON: So you came to an all-girls school for what, a self-esteem boost? Of all the selfish--

ALISON: (quickly)
Parents do a lot of things. (regaining focus) So what, daddy tossed you into a barrel of women thinking we were easy pickings?

ALISON: Good.

ALISON: Now you know how every girl has felt since thirteen. (perky) Hey, maybe you do belong here.

ALISON: Bedtime.